Honest Timeline: Making It to the Airport on Time
Running late for the airport again? It’s high time you learned the most basic of time management skills so you can ease your anxiety. Since that’s probably not happening anytime soon, you schedule a mid-day flight because you’re an adult now, but you hit the bar night before departure because you want to start your vacation early. It’s all good…until the alarm goes off on departure day. This is the honest timeline for making it to your flight on time (sigh).
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Alarm goes off. Your flight isn't until midday so no rush there, which is good because you're still drunk from yesterday.
You're up and a tiny bit hungover, which doesn't matter. You don't fly until the afternoon. So, of course, you get high and start packing, then forget what you were doing and nap.
You wanted to be in a taxi by 11 am, but things took longer than expected (you got too stoned and forgot you had a flight).
Before you have a chance to buckle your seat belt, your driver says, "Heading to the airport, eh? That's cool. I've got a stop to make along the way. It'll only take a minute."
About 10 minutes from the airport, your driver makes a sharp left down a random alley, stops the car and gets out.
To sell drugs.
But he also decides to shoot the shit. You want to roll down the window to get his attention, but the child lock is on.
You finally lean over and honk the horn. Your driver returns after urinating on a dumpster and apologizes for the wait before peeling out.
You jump out of the car and race through the airport, just like in Home Alone, except you're actually alone and not at home so you look like an idiot.
As you shuffle onto the flight last minute, you find your seat just as your fear of flying sets in real hard. Good thing you blackmailed your driver for "anxiety pills" before you got out of the car.
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Is this you? Are you constantly coming and going with merely seconds left to make it on your plane? Let us know in the comments!