Housebreaking a Boyfriend: 7 Steps to Training a Good Boy
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Step 1: Be Consistent (But Loving)
Let's face it, you knew he was going to piss the rug the moment you let him into your home. Our first recommendation is to stay consistent and never wane in your scoldings. While we never condone physical abuse, it's not a bad idea to keep a spray bottle close by.
Just be sure to catch him in the act so he knows when he's being a bad boy. Then affirm that you love him despite all of his shortcomings with a treat.
Step 2: Give Your Own Emotional Support
Those who give emotional support tend to need it, too. Just like a therapist needs a therapist to unload on.
While you've been away all day, he was making paper airplanes and sand castles, not because he needs a hobby (well, also that) but most likely because your boy has been missing you.
Sometimes this will cause him anxiety, which can be displayed in any sort of bad behavior. Instead of getting angry at him, reinforce the rules and then rub his belly or take him out for a walk. Spending quality time together will help bond you two for life.
Step 3: Curb His Begging Habits
Allowing him to beg means he's in control constantly. Put an end to this dire behavior by only giving into his needs when he's following the rules.
He will beg from time to time, but don't buckle. Firmly tell him good boys don't beg and then send him to his den so he can get his mind right and lick his balls, metaphorically speaking, of course.
Step 4: Build Him A Safe Den
If you can't spare room for him on the bed, which we both know he'll take over, give him his own "man cave."
Know that he will likely enjoy it so much he never wants to come out, except to eat and dry hump the pillows. Respect his privacy so he will respect yours in return, lest you find a dead bird on your side of the bed.
Step 5: Teach Him To Come On Command
We're just going to leave this one blank.
Step 6: Only Good Boys Get Rewarded
It's hard not to give out treats, even if they're not being good. It feels good for you both, but if you're giving in to him, you might lose power.
May we suggest some healthy treats thrown in the mix, but save the dirty good stuff for when he's extra good.
Step 7: Never Go to Bed Angry
Not every day will be perfect, but always end on a good note.
If you push too hard, too fast, you'll scare him off or he'll full-on lose interest and possibly hit the streets to find another treat jar. Generally, he's probably easily overwhelmed, but you want him to stay engaged and coming back for more.
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What tricks have savvy women employed to keep you in line? Or now that you think about it, you didn’t know you were being trained at the time? Let us know what made you behave like a good boy in the comments!