Pot Talk: How To Sound Like You’ve Bought Weed Before When Visiting a Dispensary
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What up, brah, want to get high? Seriously though, as you may or may not know, weed has been legalized for recreational use in 10 states already, and it’s rapidly spreading to the point that marijuana can be readily and easily accessible by the general public. Finally.
Which means, it’s only a matter of time before it’s raining Mary Jane and everyone you pass is blowing vape smoke in your face. If you decide to partake, here are some tips to keep you from looking like a schmuck when you visit your first dispensary. For starters, if you say things like “rolling up a grass doobie,” you’re immediately ancient.
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Prepare to Show Your ID
It doesn't matter if you look 87 years old, it's standard to show your ID each time you visit a dispensary. If you've got a medical recommendation, you'll also have to show that when you arrive. Without an official form of ID, you won't be allowed inside any reputable dispensary. This seems like pretty basic stuff, but you'd be surprised by the meltdowns people have when they show up empty-handed and are turned away. Don't be one of them.
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Sativa vs. Indica
When you're used to buying street drugs off that guy your friend knew in high school, you're really just used to buying whatever's being sold. Legal marijuana provides a certain artistry that tailors weed strains to deal with a variety of needs. It's simpler to understand than you think. Sativas are mind highs. They keep you alert and are great for daytime use. Indicas, on the other hand, are more of a body high. It's perfect for smoking before bed or if you're trying to manage pain. It's also definitely going to give you the munchies. If you can comprehend the difference, your first trip to a dispensary will be easy. Tell the budtender that you're looking for a sativa if you want a mind high or to smoke and stay alert.
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Ask for a Pre-Roll
Sure. You can call them joints, but typically, they're called pre-rolls and they get super fancy. House joints or pre-rolls are going to be a mix of all the flower the dispensary sells. However, there will also be joints laced with hash and kief and all sorts of other goodies. Ask your budtender what they offer and more importantly, what they recommend. Also, if you don't want to go to space, that's also ok. Just stick with a house pre-roll and enjoy your life.
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Laws that regulate the sale and distribution of marijuana dictate that it's sold in preset denominations. This means, it comes prepackaged and is sold by the gram, an eighth, or quarter of an ounce. A gram is about the weight of a pre-roll, but is a good way to test out a strain and see if you like it. An eighth is about 3.5 grams and the average amount of weed purchased per customer. Depending on how much you smoke, an eighth can last a long time. A quarter is 7 grams and probably about as much as Snoop Dogg goes through in a day.
Unless you smoke a lot, buying a quarter is pointless because the flower will dry out. If you're super new, get a gram of a few different strains and then return and pick up an eighth of your favorite.
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Check the First Time Patient Deals
First of all, lots of dispensaries offer first-time patient (or FTP) deals. Sometimes, this deal is a free joint and sometimes it's a lower price on the weed you were already going to buy. Just research the dispensaries in your vicinity on WeedMaps. People review the bud they buy and it will really give you a good idea of who's selling fire bud at reasonable prices. Plus, you can also look up the FTP deals and pick where you'll buy based on whatever that deal is. Hot tip: The FTP deal is usually the best deal you'll get.
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The CBDs of Marijuana
CBD or cannabidiol is found in cannabis plants. Unlike with regular marijuana, CBD is non-psychoactive, which means you won't feel super high. You will, however, feel the positive side effects of marijuana, like pain relief, reduced inflammation, increased focus, and the ability to finally chill the eff out.
CBD is a great option for anyone who doesn't want to feel high but wants to feel relief. It can be eaten, used as a topical ointment, in a tincture, an oil, bath bomb, and even a body scrub. What you buy really depends on you and your individual needs.
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Tip Your Budtender
The budtender is like a dispensary Sherpa. You need to trust them and that means telling them you're new to the 420 game. They'll be gentle and, more importantly, they'll be nice and spend the time with you that you need. If you act like you know what you're doing, they'll just go through the motions and sell you whatever they're supposed to be pushing. Most importantly, if they spend a lot of time helping you, tip them. It ensures they'll be more likely to be attentive and eventually throw in a joint for you being so damn cool.
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Do any of you O.G. dispensary pros have any tips for noobs? Share them in the comments!