Photo: Sam Edwards (Getty Images)
Dating in the 21st Century is all about getting to the point. Who has time to block out two hours every Saturday night for an expensive dinner you might want to leave before the appetizers arrive? Thanks to a new speed dating technique in Wisconsin, where potential couples have three minutes to make a connection as they ride the chairlift up the slope, we are feeling inspired by the endless possibilities for romantic brevity.
What better way to maximize your time than by utilizing a speed dating approach that fits hooking up right into your daily routine? That’s why we’d like to see these convenient forms of speed dating hit the scene in 2019, so we can get in, see if there’s any chemistry, and get out. Find love faster than the time it takes to toast your morning bagel. Who knows, it could be love at first sight.
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Speed dating
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Mall Escalator
Want to meet people in the intimate setting of your local mall? An escalator is just like a ski lift, but for people who hate the outdoors and want to court suitable partners while heading to the food court for a pretzel. How long does it take to figure out if you like someone anyway? Twelve seconds?
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Fast-Food Drive Thru
Do you both like burgers and fries? Great, now you can combine your favorite fast food with a quick chat to see if sparks fly at any point between the order menu and the pick-up window. Maybe she likes onion rings and you're not down with that. Find out all the crucial details like what kind of car she drives, if she's a ranch or honey mustard girl, and what playlist she's bumping on her sound system. Best of Kenny G? She might be the one.
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Uber Pool
The back of a car can be an intimate place to get to know someone. Find out if she's a backseat driver, a nervous Nellie, a road rage enthusiast, or a hot potato, all while riding from the bar where you met (over shots of tequila), to your house (where there's more tequila).
If things go well, continue the date inside. If not, at least you got home safe. Unofficially, random hooking up is probably happening every night somewhere in the Uberverse, so why not make it official?
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Couples Colonic
How about a fresh start for your love life...and your colon? Learn each other's likes and dislikes in the privacy of your own treatment room. Romance will surely abound as you and a potential mate cleanse your intestines together. Even if the date goes sour, you will feel great afterwards.
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The Voting Line
Whoever said talking about politics on a first date was bad form? Might as well air it out from the get-go. Political orientation is an important factor in establishing future common-ground, right? Quickly solve all the world's problems, or spew loathsome profanities at each others faces, as you quickly lay out your entire political worldview and instantly determine just how much you can stand each other. This could be the beginning of a bi-partisan friendship.
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Grocery Store Checkout
Pick up a new lover while you pick up some cereal. Instantly identify each other's lifestyle habits and dietary desires by planning your next speed date at the local grocery store. Cigarettes and vodka tell you she's down to party. Frozen pizza and ice cream lets you know she needs a snuggle buddy. Either way, food is an aphrodisiac and Cupid always plays favorites in the produce aisle. A win-win for all.
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One-Minute FaceTime
What better way to find yourself the perfect mate than a one-minute FaceTime call sandwiched between your lunch break and the walk back to your office? The most eligible candidates will come with a high-speed connection, letting potential romancers know they handle business like a 5G.
