Remember that Kris Jenner strategy we were talking about earlier? Sometimes you just gotta stick with what got you here.
Kylie Jenner, 18, is totally freaking out about what Tyga, 26, might tell or show the world now that they’re broken up! But what’s worried the reality star the most is that she and Tyga allegedly have a sex tape…and she’s scared it could get into the wrong hands…“Tyga will not sign off on releasing it to the masses, but Kylie is scared that a sex tape could get in the wrong person’s hands with one of his buddies and they could put it online to embarrass her…She is freaking out that something like that will happen, especially if she starts bashing Tyga in any way. If the Kardashians bash him, it would open the door for something like that to happen. He has a lot of power right now.”
Now before we start this, read that blockquote again. If it reads like we didn’t even know there was a sex tape until an “insider” told us, and if it by some chance comes out, it will be all Tyga’s fault, then you might not need to continue Kris Jenner 101. Feel free to drop at anytime. Our drop/add policy is pretty lenient. If you want to stay, I want you to think about how many of your friends or any person you know who would a.) record themselves having sex, b.) forget to take with them, c.) have somebody release it or threaten to release it. What’s the percent and probability on that? Really? Because, naturally, it’s happened to 66.6% of Kris Jenner’s kids.
Kim: The empire that a sex tape built
Kourtney: N/A
Khloe: She had to go rogue and pitch it herself, bless her heart
Rob: Blac Chyna stole the family playbook on the way out
Kendall: N/A (but what are we waiting on, tho?)
Kylie: Pending (fulfill your destiny)
If Kris Jenner is listed on your birth certificate, you have a better chance of seeing your own sex tape than your own commencement ceremony. Ok, that’s enough for today, class. Next we’ll probably be covering the same stuff more than likely.
