Kim and Kanye Sex Tape Sequel Is Perfect Way to Kick Off Next 20 Years of ‘The Kardashians’ Family Misery

If you ever needed proof that reality TV ain’t real, just look at the new Kim Kardashian sex tape scandal that unfolded on the recent premiere of The Kardashians.

The drama began during a family barbecue when Kim suddenly discovered the existence of a possible sex tape sequel on her son’s iPad. Coincidentally, camera crews were there to capture the big moment. Also by coincidence, it was the exact same hook they used in the debut of Keeping Up with the Kardashians in 2007.

In this version, Kim was visibly shaken at the revelation that someone was planning to leak additional footage from the original Ray J tape. (You know, the one that made her famous, to begin with?) She immediately called her lawyers to say, “I have all the time, all the money, and all of the resources to burn them all to the fucking ground.” Nice.

Though the alleged sex tape turned out to be nothing, it gave Kim a chance to reconnect with ex Kanye West while also recreating her famous ugly-cry face for fans of the meme. (Because we definitely needed another one.)

Hulu’s new crown jewel (which included Kim getting ready for her appearance on SNL), was meant to be a gripping start to a fresh chapter in the Kardashian saga. But in reality, it played like a dated newsreel more worn out than Caitlyn Jenner’s calves. Because the entire conceit, including the absence of Pete Davidson who Kim shacked up with after she hosted SNL a century ago, felt dusty AF. These kinds of anachronisms might’ve played in 2007, but not today.

It took less than a year for the Kardashians to come out of reality show retirement. We can only hope it doesn’t take that long for them to reconsider.

Cover Photo: NurPhoto (Getty Images)


// ad on openWeb