Speaking of pedophiles, 30-something women go apeshit over Twilight, because if anything in this world is romantic and speaks to women, it’s a high school girl’s struggle of choosing between necrophilia and bestiality. So, of course, Jennifer Love Hewitt attended The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 Because We’re Splitting It Up Into Two Parts Because We Have To Ride This Thing Out And Squeeze Every Dollar We Can From Tween Cutters And Bored Housewives Duh premiere last night. I only post these, because I’m about to say something I haven’t said since 2002. She looked fantastic. So I guess that means I would totally have sex with her now. Although it may get a little weird when she’s bent over and I ask who her vagina belongs to. She has a brother named Todd, so that could be awkward. But I always make cupcakes afterward, so we should be fine.
Group of friends dancing and having fun together; Photo: Flashpop(Getty Images) A well-delivered toast can mean the difference between a…
