Jessica Simpson Probably Didn’t Break Her Nose

Jessica Simpson reportedly broke her nose while filming her new shitty movie, Major Movie Star.

Simpson explained: “I was running with a gun over my head and fell over and broke my nose, it really hurt!”

While I find it completely believable that this uncoordinated idiot could manage to break her nose that way, the story is probably bullshit. It’s likely a preemptive strike to cover her ass and excuse herself for finally getting that lumpy schnoz chopped off. It still won’t excuse her lumpy, cleft butt-chin or her penis, but it’s a start. Nice effort, Jess!

These pictures are dated August 16th (yesterday), and her nose looks as big as usual, so I don’t know what to think:

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