Semen Found To Be an Excellent Anti-Aging Treatment, Explains Why People in Porn Look So Shiny

When it comes to maintaining a youthful appearance and quality skin, Americans will pretty much do anything. Our entire culture is obsessed with trying to capture their prime and, when people can’t use a gazillion different filters on their online dating profiles, they’re willing to go to any extreme to halt the aging process. Case in point, using good old-fashioned cum to combat aging.

So we’ve all heard quite a few weird things about semen, including whether a load tastes better if we dudes consume spicy foods. But who knew that guys were walking around with an infinite supply of anti-aging wrinkle cream in their family jewels? Celebs, willing to hawk any ridiculous skin or diet treatment to the idiot masses, seem to believe in the benefits of loads of semen for anti-aging.

Celebrity facialist Chelsee Lewis has tailored skincare treatments for celebs including Stella McCartney, Suki Waterhouse, and Gwyneth Paltrow to maintain their youthful visages over the years. Now, Lewis is advising ladies to bask in the glow of semen.

According to Lewis, semen is full of the compound spermine, an antioxidant that she claims helps reduce wrinkles smooths skin, and treats blemishes. Well, that might explain why adult film stars always look so shiny.

But are we really to believe that spooge has any other purpose outside of insemination and rendering socks worthless? Well, let’s see what medical science has to say about the merits of sperm being an anti-aging agent.

According to Medical News Today, while semen may contain ingredients that can benefit the skin, “the small quantity of these ingredients is unlikely to provide any benefit.” In fact, the article goes on to say that putting semen on the skin or consuming it also “carries the risk of developing an allergic reaction and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).”

But if a bunch of privileged rich ladies want to rub cum on their faces to fight the aging process, then who are we to judge? Just make sure you’re not using any that came from somebody on Tinder.

Cover Photo: Westend61 (Getty Images)