Bride with messy face eating wedding cake

Meanwhile in Florida: Bride and Her Caterer Allegedly Served Cannabis-Laced Food to Unknowing Guests (Finally, A Wedding We’d Be Thrilled to Attend!)

Let’s be honest: there isn’t a wedding thus far that we’ve been excited to attend. Sure, we’ll stand up and be our buddy’s best man if he asks us, but don’t expect us to have a good time doing it. But maybe, just maybe, we’ve been invited to all the wrong weddings and that’s why we don’t get pumped about attending nuptials. If we had been a guest at a certain Florida bride’s fete, we think would have had a great time.

That’s because a 42-year-old bride named Danya Shea Svoboda apparently teamed up with her 31-year-old caterer, Joycelyn Montrinice Bryant, to lace the reception spread with cannabis. The menu included foods like lasagna, meatballs, tortellini, Caesar salad, and bread with olive oil and herbs – all a seemingly perfect pairing for pot!

The hint that something was awry happened when emergency responders were called to the wedding due to numerous guests at the reception experiencing “symptoms consistent with that of someone who had used illegal drugs,” an affidavit stated. Basically, some of them reported feeling high while others felt ill. (If you were one of the high ones, why in the world would you complain? Or tell the cops? Ya dummies.)

One guest claimed he “felt tingly, his heart started to race, and [he] was having crazy thoughts.” Another said she “felt like she had no control of her mind and body” and felt “numb, helpless, and her mind was playing strange things in her head.” That woman also felt so felt paranoid that she believed one of her family members had died! She behaved so “loud and unruly” at the hospital that medical professionals had to sedate her.

Finally, a dude who felt “weird, tingly, fidgety, and had extreme dry mouth,” asked the groom what was in the food. The groom said he’d check it out but never returned with an answer. (He probably found his bride’s stash and got high on her supply.)

The caterer didn’t exactly keep her secret ingredient on the down-low. One guest saw her adding something “green and fuzzy” that “smelled like marijuana” into dishes of olive oil. When asked if it was marijuana, the caterer confirmed it was.

Another guest, whose sister was dizzy and vomiting after eating the food, went to fetch a glass of water in the kitchen. When she commented on her sister’s condition, a staff member said, “Well there’s cannabis in the food.”

When one of the guests confronted the bride and asked if the food was laced, the bride allegedly “said ‘yes’ and acted like [the guest] should be excited as if she were given a gift,” according to the affidavit.

Authorities caught on once the hospitalized guests tested positive for having consumed cannabis. The cops then confiscated the lasagna, which tested positive as well. (What are the chances they shared the leftovers in the break room later?)

Both the bride and the caterer have been charged with tampering with food, delivery of marijuana, and culpable negligence, but they’re out on bail.

We think cannabis-laced food is a great way to bump up the RSVPs to your wedding (though you should probably get consent first). If this becomes a trend, we see many wedding receptions in our future!

Cover Photo: Lanny Ziering (Getty Images)