9 People We’d Love to See President Biden Appoint to Supreme Court (Who Have No Chance in Hell)

Face it. The Supreme Court has always made crap decisions. From Dredd Scott v. Sandford to Citizens United, the highest court in the land has a long history of major whiffs. It’s time for some fresh blood.

Luckily, liberal old-guy-in-a-robe Stephen Breyer is retiring this year, making way for a possible Biden nominee. That’s right. After missing out on two recent replacements, the Democrats are looking to pitch a fast one by slugger Mitch McConnell and his ragtag crew.

While our gut is telling us to replace the entire bench with the starting lineup of the 1927 Yankees, our legal experts are telling us that’s not an option. But why is the ladder to the top of the judicial clubhouse so hard to climb? After all, these days it looks like the SCOTUS Club will let just about anyone in (we’re looking at you, Kavanaugh). And if a failed D-List celebrity can become the president, why can’t a former pop star from the aughts become a justice?

In the spirit of spitballing for fairness (and sexier judge’s outfits), we’ve put together this list of candidates who’d kick ass on the high court even though they don’t stand a chance in hell. But hey, stranger things have happened.

Cover Photo: Handout (Getty Images)


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