It’s all hypothetical at this point, and at the risk of poking the hornet’s nest, we’re going to go ahead and say nothing can wash away the sins of the past like the family Laundrie.
To paraphrase Bill Murray, if you think someone is the one, do some hard traveling with them first. If you still like them when you get home, marry them. For some reason, this quote makes us think of Brian Laundrie and Gabby Petito.
If you haven’t been following the story, Brian and Gabby were post-college fiancés taking a cross-country road trip they began documenting on social media in July. However, after a few months of traveling, Brian returned home to his parent’s house in North Port, Florida with no trace of Gabby.
A nationwide search for Gabby ended on September 19 with the discovery of her remains at a remote campsite in Grand Teton Wyoming, making Brian the exceedingly obvious person of interest in what police have ruled a homicide. With all eyes on Brian, police arrived at the Laundrie’s doorstep to an uncooperative lawyer. A brick wall whose only gap was the camping trip the Laundries allegedly took the weekend after Brian returned from ill-fated his road trip.
Now either these guys just really love camping or there’s something more sinister at play. Sure, we’ve probably been watching too much Mare of Eastown, but when it comes to families and murder, there’s no telling what lengths people are willing to go to protect the ones they love.
As theories explode across the internet and a posse of bald men defend a man they think is being unfairly targeted for his lack of hair, we felt it was time for us to clumsily dive into the fray.
While it may be a long time before the truth is revealed (if ever) today we build a shot-in-the-dark honest timeline of the potentially ingenious Laundrie family plan to avoid at worst, the gallows, and at best, a very awkward conversation with the authorities.
Put on your spectacles, people, it’s time to start speculating.
Cover Photo: Moab Police Department
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