An Insincere Farewell Card To Sarah Huckabee Sanders (From America)
Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. Sarah Huckabee Sanders resigned recently from her post as White House press secretary, and somewhere a bell rang and an angel got their wings. The irreverent wordsmith and mouthpiece for President Trump had a solid run as the Aunt Lydia of real life, lasting almost a full year after replacing Sean Spicer and his one-man-band blunder revue. No doubt her spirit will roam the press room hallways from now until eternity, or until the next president orders an exorcism. In honor of her inevitable tell-all book deal we’ve put together a nice farewell of GIFS for the lovely, talented, but never forgotten, former press secretary.
Photo: SAUL LOEB (Getty Images)
And Also Mountain Dew
She may be gone, but she'll always have a special place in our.....well, she'll just be gone. Sanders truly represented the neon green, high fructose corn syrup, yellow No. 5 of White House press secretaries: full of energy but always gave you a stomach ache.
Someone Go Get An Adult!
Joe Biden may be the Lothario of luscious locks, but mouth crabs may have been the No. 1 cause of female baldness in the White House since 2016.
One Of The Greatest Jobs?
Well, Trump is actually the first politico to hire Sanders that didn't technically work for/with her Arkansas governor father and Fox News alarmist Mike Huckabee. So, sadly, this really may have been her greatest job of all time?
Just Like Xena?
She really does fight hard for what she's told she has to believe in or else.
If She Keeps Saying It, Then It's True
Honestly, only the likes of George Costanza could speak more untruths into reality by simply believing hard enough. It's kind of like clapping for Tinkerbell.
Entertainment Is Wasted On The Dull
At least we've had a good laugh or two along the way.
Seriously, She's Laying It On Pretty Thick
We get it, you loved this job so much, you had to set it free.
Sure, Why Not?!
Attempting to explain the president's witty banter, pop-quiz policy amendments, and unexpected golf outings was never meant to be easy, so quitting as press secretary is completely understandable. Governor of Arkansas sounds like a cake walk.
The Future Governor Of Arkansas
Death, taxes, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders are your only guarantees.
Empowering Women, That's Definitely What's Happening
How do you create satire out of an already satirical situation? Does a crazy person know they're crazy? Does a bad joke know it's a bad joke? If Sarah Huckabee Sanders quit her job in a forest with no one around on a Monday, does Trump remember her name on Thursday?
There's A Special Place For People Like Sarah
Yeah, it's called Arkansas.
Good Bye and Good Luck
The show's not quite over, but never fear, Trump is at the helm, empowering women and fumbling over three-syllable words on a daily basis. Sanders' replacement has already been named, but really, how does one replace a legend?