Hungry and Horny Alligators Are Overwhelming Florida With Their Appetites
Photo: Joe Raedle / Staff (Getty Images)
You can never be too surprised by anything that happens in Florida. It’s a place notorious for unusual occurrences so it shouldn’t be shocking that they’re having to defend themselves from hungry and horny alligators now. Never change, Florida.
A recent spike in gator activity has hit the U.S. peninsula and officials say it’s because the reptiles are looking to bang each other due to mating season. Also, as anyone can assume, the gators are looking for food because, you know, they’re gators.
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If you can’t tell by the weather outside, temperatures are getting warmer. As a result, alligators’ metabolisms are beginning to get faster and, if you don’t know, that means they get hungrier. Unlike you, they don’t have the ability to hit up DoorDash, so they’re forced to wander around and look for food.
With these animals having food and sex cravings, they’re venturing into various Florida neighborhoods and looking for some action and post-sex snacks. We’re sure some of you can relate to that.
So if you’re out in Florida, watch where step because you might just trigger an angry gator. Either that or you’ll ruin the mood for a poor guy just trying to get laid.