Fake It Till You Make It: 7 Ways To Convince People You’re Not So Damn Poor
Photo: Caiaimage/Agnieszka Olek (Getty Images)
In today’s day and age, perception is reality. Truthfully, if you seem to have a good job, attractive girlfriend(s), and own nice things people assume you’re crushing life. It doesn’t matter that you actually hate your job, date a revolving door of people whose names you can’t remember, and barely covering your expenses.
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Thankfully, most everyone you know is incapable of differentiating between the image you’re projecting and how bad things are going. This is what makes it easy to photoshop reality so no one can tell how goddamn poor you actually are. With a few well-executed life hacks, you can project the image of wealth even if you don’t have a dollar to your name.
Pristine Grooming And Self Care
If you're poor, you're probably rolling your eyes at this right now. But you don't have to spend thousands of dollars to do things like getting enough sleep at night. Personal grooming like brushing your teeth, washing your face, and exfoliating your skin with baking soda (which you can find at the dollar store, you broke slob) are things you should already be doing.
Rich people look well preserved because they put a lot of time and money into it. Since you're poor, you have the time to stay home and watch Netflix. Where you're dropping the ball is in not using this free time to multitask your grooming habits. While binge-watching your favorite show, give yourself a manicure or use a cheap Korean Bubble Mask to try and look young forever.
You don't have to spend a lot of money to look like you give a fuck. Make sure your clothes are clean and pressed. If you hate ironing and can't afford going to the dry cleaners, you can get a steamer for less than $15. It's a worthwhile investment so you don't look like you slept in the back seat of your car. (Even though you probably did.)
Show Off Those Pearly Whites
A study out of the University of Toronto says people can't tell if someone is rich or poor if they're smiling in a photo. There are scientific reasons for this, but let's be honest. It's really because we picture poor people as sorry sad-sacks. (Which we obviously are because being poor sucks.)
So shove that frown so far down that the only thing that radiates is your fake sense of richness.
You don't needs tons of stuff to look like you're rollin' in dough. In fact, decorating your space and not just yourself with a clean minimalist approach will make you seem elite. Just make sure your space is consistently neat and tidy. Nothing says "I am gross and poor" like an apartment that smells like a sad, depressed dude who hasn't showered in two weeks.
Stop Being A Brand Whore
Here's the thing: your phone case doesn't need to have a Gucci logo on it for people to think you're ballin'. In fact, having good fashion sense has less to do with money and more to do with being able to express your personal brand in the clothes you wear.
Instead of investing in overpriced pieces, focus on creating a series of outfits that make your personality pop. If you're scratching your head right now, it's because you don't have any idea who you are. Figure. That. Out. Powerful people do and most of them are living on credit just like you are.
Shop Second Hand
Thanks to Marie Kondo, people are donating insanely nice stuff to thrift stores. If you're looking for clothes or home items right now, stop in your local Goodwill. You'll be surprised by the coveted goods that no longer spark joy for greedy American consumers, which you can now purchase for much cheaper and plant as a photo op on social media.
Be In Charge
The funny thing about power is that it's implicit. You can simply walk into a room of strangers and if you're confident and put together, they'll assume you are somebody. And if people think you've got it, no one will pick up on the fact that you've also only got $27.83 in your checking account.
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What are your go-to hacks for giving the appearance of someone with their life together? Let us know in the comments!