Conservative Parents Praying For A Wall Built Before Spring Breakers Come Back Over Border
Photo: Sean Murphy (Getty Images)
Spring break used to be a vital respite for American college students, a way to get away from hitting the books and begin hitting the tequila shots in Mexico. Now, with a border wall in mind, parents are using the annual holiday to take their own shot at keeping their collegiate spring breakers on break, forever.
Parents are at their breaking point.
"We can't take any more financial abuse," said Karen Soothesayer, a Florida mother of two college students. "We can't afford the rising tuition and a week to fund a week-long Mexican fiesta. And they refuse to go to USC. We're not going broke over this."
Drunk spring breakers demand border wall.
Shockingly, some students on break in Mexico don't see the severity of the situation. Several are still wearing their clashing MAGA hats with plaid board shorts, screaming in support of President Trump to "finish the wall," not knowing their parents are hoping to teach them a lesson.
You know it’s a whole different kind of special stupid for drunk white rich kids to chant “build the wall” while on spring break in Mexico.— Robert Davenport (@citynightcap) March 14, 2018
Keeping spring breakers away benefits everyone.
Many conservative parents in support of "Project Adios," an alias for the newest push in support of the wall, have also noted that local Florida beaches have been cleaner, quieter, and no longer smell like Abercrombie and Fitch.
Mexicans want nothing to do with spring breakers.
Unfortunately (for mom and dad), it appears many Mexicans are already fighting the hordes of rich, spoiled gringos. Many locals near the border have been doing what they can to tear down the portions of the wall which have been built thus far, simply so they can “send the ‘güeros’ back where they came from.”
A new kind of wall is in progress.
In one last-ditch effort, an American artist is at least doing his part to prevent drunk spring breakers from getting home by building a cheese wall at the border.
"I figured some of these kids have to be lactose intolerant," he told Mandatory.