8 Kinds of Women You’ll Meet On Spring Break (And How To Approach Them)
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It’s that time of year, where college coeds ditch the books to let loose and expose their inner (and outer) party monster. That’s right, it’s spring break, baby.
Instead of spending the week vomiting in bushes and being rejected, per usual, you need to hone your skills by pregaming with us. Because knowledge is power, and we’re going to give you a lesson on the ABCs of spring break girls. From knowing who you’re hitting on to what’s on their agenda, consider this the Cliffs Notes on how to approach and woe a spring break woman. Be gentle, men.
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While you've traveled far and wide to your destination, this know-all native grew up around the corner. Unfortunately for you, she probably doesn't want to deal with some scumbag just in it to win it. If you simply cannot resist her charms, be direct and respectful because she can show you all the best spots in town, including her own.
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You'll find this pouty beauty ordering bottle service poolside or in a club. She won't notice you unless you've got a perfect body or are spending money like you invented it, but that doesn't mean you don't stand a chance with her.
A trust-fund baby's weakness is getting what she wants, and sometimes, people with power like to tell these girls "no" just for the sake of it. If you can somehow turn that "no" into a "yes," you just became her personal Jesus. Enjoy the perks of that power because she certainly will.
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Team Double Trouble
These two go everywhere together. They're also your best bet for a threesome years before you've earned one. Don't favor one over the other and buy them both drinks until your parents turn off the credit card. You will be rewarded a king's ransom even if you never see them again.
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She's a subdivision of the "good girl." However, she's not all sugar and spice. She does everything with her gal pals, so you're going to have to make them happy to make her happy, which means begging one of your friends to manage the grenade. If you do this, she'll expect romance but will settle for 45 rockin' seconds of your man meat after drinking with you for hours and hours.
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The Spring Breaker
This wild child's only going to spring break to do one thing: party. She's got everything going for her in that way. She's hot. She can party. And she'll say "yes" to anything, including you. Just make sure you've got bail money on lock because what she wants may be illegal, but will definitely be true bad-girl fun.
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She's the perfect girl if all you're looking for on spring break is a social media photo op. An influencer can be a hard egg to crack if you don't have the power to get her where she wants to go. That said, if you notice her taking a selfie with friends, offer to play cameraman. However, if you're gonna make this play, you better actually take a good photo or you'll be rejected forever.
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If the first and only thing you notice is a fantastic ass, this isn't going to end well for either of you. She knows what she's doing, but you probably don't. By the time you man up to talk with her, she'll be ten steps ahead, and maybe just as many tequila belly shots. You might as well wait until she's tired to catch up, or do the math and meet her friend who works at half speed.
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The Beach Bum
All partying aside, this beach mama goes to spring break for one reason only: waves. If you're looking for something fast and easy, she ain't it. To catch her attention, hit the beach before sunrise and focus on being zen in the water. If all else fails, get in her line of sight and pretend to drown like you're Johnny Utah and she's Tyler in Point Break.
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Which of these women are you most likely to hook up with on Spring Break? Sound off on your experiences in the comments!