suspected burglar squirrel
"Under cover of darkness, two mangy squirrel burglars steal peanuts."

Suspected Burglar In London Home Turns Out To Be A Squirrel

Squirrel Burglars. Photo: TheCrimsonMonkey (Getty)

A girl living just two blocks down the street from me created quite the stir several weeks ago with a 911 call. After hearing what she thought was an intruder going through her moving boxes in her new living room, it took a SWAT team and helicopter to realize there wasn’t a man in her house after all. It was simply a matter of boxes falling over because she stacked them like an asshole.

Well, this story isn’t that bad, but it’s close.

According to HuffPost, a London woman called police last Thursday believing an intruder was rummaging through her home. Instead of an intruder, police discovered it was a “rogue squirrel” having a go at it.

A squirrel beats a spider any day: Florida Man Called 911 Because His Wife Was A ‘Black Widow Spider’

“The female caller was very distressed and called 999 as she heard noises downstairs and believed she was being burgled,” a police spokesman said. “Officers attended on blue lights and established the only suspect was a squirrel who had knocked some items over and caused a bit of a mess.”

The good news for the squirrel is that it was released instead of being sent to York, where it likely would’ve been served as a gourmet dinner. And the great news for the woman is that being an idiot is not a crime in London.


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