C’mon, Guys: Bro Rushes To His Burning Car To Light Cigarette Following Drunken Crash
Burning Car. Photo: © Rick Elkins (Getty)
Roads are dangerous. This we know. But it appears they would be exponentially safer if not for the abundance of peanut-brained testosterone floating through our transportation system.
Just a few recent poor excuses of the male species we’ve written about, all on America’s roads:
- A man was caught asleep at the wheel, woke up, and drove directly into a pole.
- A man busted out a sword while fighting over a parking spot.
- How about this man pooping out a road-rage tantrum?
America’s finest, folks.
Now, add to the list 25-year-old Robert Quigley. According to California Highway Patrol, Mr. Quigley rear-ended an SUV stopped in traffic on a NorCal interstate. Afterwards, he immediately tried to switch seats with his female passenger (to make it appear he wasn’t driving), then watched his car burst into flames upon exiting. All this before walking over to said flames to light his cigarette.
This is what Quigley probably thought he looked like.
But this is what he looks like in real life.
A witness told officials a shirtless Quigley went back to his burning car to light his cigarette, singeing part of his eyebrows off in the process, according to Walker. Quigley later told the officer at the scene, “Yeah I’m not afraid of fire. I deal with this kind of stuff all the time.”
I love that last quote. It’s so funny, yet so sad, because Mr. Quigley is likely telling the truth.
Quigley was arrested on suspicion of DUI following this aforementioned crash. However, it’s not his first arrest under such circumstances. According to CHP, he was picked up for a DUI just last week in a separate incident.
Thankfully, no one was hurt in the wreckage this week.
Mr. Quigley, get help. Stop drinking. Surround yourself with better people. And please, stop driving before you kill someone.
Oh, and buy a Zippo.
Josh Helmuth is a sports reporter in St. Louis who contributes to Mandatory.