Portillo women
vdo camera in conference room for frofession

Forget Portillo’s Coming To Davenport, This Woman Is Here To Talk About Her Divorce

vdo camera in conference room for frofession. Photo: KCHANDE (Getty)

Every once in a blue moon, the internet graces us with a video that makes you laugh so hard, you find yourself crying buckets. So much so, in fact, the dude in 10C looks over at you and asks if he should go get help. This time Portillo is to thank. Sort off.

Well, thanks to Lisa Ann Witmer Wegman, who just moved to Davenport, Iowa because she’s getting a divorce that’s not final until September 18th, said video has just fallen into your lap.

Portillo Doesn’t Matter To Her

Here’s how it happened. The fine folks of Davenport have won the lottery of life, as a Portillo’s wants to call 53rd Street home. So the city’s leaders called a zoning meeting, but it’s obviously just because of protocol. I mean, this is Portillo’s we’re talking about here. Show me somebody who has a finer establishment with better burgers, Italian beef and hot dogs, and I’ll show you a liar.

Granted, these bros are still the king of city council meetings: Two Dudes Prank City Council Meeting With Request For 12-Foot Paul Walker Statue

After no doubt hearing dozens of stories about how the thought of returning home to a Portillo’s got some of Davenport’s finest through Vietnam, it was Wegman’s turn to speak. Enjoy.

For starters, congrats to Brianna Elizabeth for making it into college. Just like me, you have defied all odds. Secondly, can we get this poor woman another password at the damn library? I mean, it really doesn’t make any sense, as despite having the name Lisa Ann, odds are pretty good she wasn’t using her computer time to take in smut.

Hopefully for everybody else’s sake in Davenport, Hal Reid got things back on track with some fine talk on Portillo’s being delicious.


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