Florida Woman Named Crystal Methvin Arrested On Drug Charges

Handcuffs and cocaine. Photo: pashapixel (Getty)

We’ll give you two guesses as to which drug she had in her possession, but you really shouldn’t need more than one.

According to News 4 Jax, police officers in St. Augustine received an anonymous tip last week that three people were parked in a lot on South Dixie Highway. One of them was an unlicensed driver. Of course, that’s not the typical call to police that we’ve come to expect, especially in Florida. Then again, it wound up leading to the arrest of a woman with a not-so-typical name.

Not all news from the Sunshine State is negative: Florida Man Hailed Hero After Putting Out Boat Fire With Jet Ski

When officers arrived on the scene, they found three people sitting in a car. Two of them ended up in handcuffs after police found “drug paraphernalia and a substance that field tested positive for crystal meth.” The 41-year-old man arrested went by the name of Douglas Nickerson. However, the story really got wings when they revealed the name of the 40-year-old woman in custody: Crystal Methvin.

Who else thought Crystal Methvin getting arrested for crystal meth possession was hysterical? You guessed it — the St. Augustine Police Department. They even decided to share the hilarity with the masses on their Facebook page.

In a related story, naming you child Apple or North no longer seems like a horrible idea. And it’s all because of the “winners” who thought naming their kid after a hardcore drug would have zero consequences.