A Woman Has Been Crashing Funerals At Her Local Church For The Last 14 Years

Photo: AntonioGuillem (Getty)

The crab legs must be to die for. Too soon?

According to Mirror, a woman in Slough, England has been crashing just about every funeral at her local church for the last 14 years, but the priest there said he is “powerless” when it comes to keeping her from “worshiping.”

Her form of worshiping at the Holy Redeemer Church? You guessed it: Making her way to the reception after the mass and loading up on whatever they’re serving despite the fact that she’s not invited to it.

A Woman Has Been Crashing Funerals At Her Local Church For The Last 14 Years

“She is a Catholic woman and she is convinced she needs to go to as many masses as possible,” Father Noah Connolly said. “She has been coming and going since I have been here for the past 14 years. Every funeral we have she comes and if there is a reception afterwards she makes her way to it without invitation.”

Of course, the families mourning the deaths of their loved ones think she’s a big bag of shit. One of them is the mother of a young lady whose service was held at the church after she died of a rare disease.

“She got my son Kevin to give her a lift from the church to the Irish Center for the wake,” Margaret Whitehead said. “There were a lot of people at the funeral from Catherine’s work so I just assumed she was a colleague. When I spoke to her though she told me she used to work with Catherine as a waitress. My daughter never worked as a waitress. She was eating from the buffet like there was no tomorrow.”

Well, she’s obviously “cleaning up” at the buffet table, but no word if she’s doing the same thing in the bedroom a la Chazz Reinhold in Wedding Crashers. Our guess is that she’s not, as she sounds like a truly disgusting person.

Sounds as though this woman’s last couple of years have also been quite a trip: English Woman’s Rare Condition Makes Her Fall Asleep Every Time She Orgasms

TRENDING

Load more...
X
Exit mobile version