Drunk Driving Chinese Bro Tries To Beat Breathalyzer By Eating Grass

Photo: Aman Sharma / EyeEm (Getty)

It might have been the fact that he pulled his black Mercedes off to the side of the road just before he reached a DUI checkpoint. It could have been that he tried running up a hill but tripped and rolled back down to street level. Hell, it might have been that he was yelling, “I wasn’t drinking! I wasn’t driving!”

Yes, all of those indeed could have tipped off police in Yiwu last Monday night that this guy was absolutely wrecked while he was behind the wheel of his vehicle, but our guess is that they knew for sure when he refused a breathalyzer test and started eating massive clumps of grass along the road instead.

Photo: via Shanghaiist

Photo: via Shanghaiist

According to Shanghaiist, the dude still registered a .156 BAC after the cops took him back to the cop shop and administered a blood test, but to say the cops were stunned by what proved to be a futile effort to conceal his drunkenness would be a huge understatement:

“We kept trying to tell him, stop eating, but he didn’t listen. He kept pulling up clumps of grass and stuffing them in his mouth,” police told reporters. “Some of it he probably ate; some of it he spit out.”

“Altogether, he probably did that 20 or 30 times. There was a patch of grass in the ditch, and by the time he was done he had pulled it all up.”

eating grass

We’re not sure if the guy had to spend a night in jail, but if that was indeed the case, he unfortunately might have been forced to eat something else that not only rhymes with but also probably tastes much worse than grass.

Probably not his best night of decision-making: Man Wearing ‘Drunk As Shit’ Shirt Arrested for DUI