Utah Woman Says Plane Dumped Poop All Over Her Driveway

Photo: Getty

This is why you don’t buy used cars.

According to WCMH-TV, a Salt Lake City woman is pissed that an airplane opened the hatch and dropped a crapload of human poop onto her property last Tuesday, and it’s not the first time that it has happened (nor is it a laughing matter…)

Bethany Bowker said she initially thought that a bird was responsible for covering her Cadillac in shit, but upon further inspection, she realized that it was a human creation.

“At first I thought, ‘Wow, some bird really took a dump on my car,'” Bowker said. “It’s disgusting. I don’t know, they might have been flying low this time? They need to do it out in the mountains or somewhere, not in a residential area.”

Utah Woman Says Plane Dumped Poop All Over Her Driveway

Sadly, there isn’t much Bowker can do about it, as the FAA said that unless she has the exact time the shitstorm took place, they won’t be able to go back to radar logs and find the culprit. And even if they did find the responsible party, Bowker would still be on her own because they “don’t provide any advice on how to clean up blue ice (frozen wastewater).”

So yeah, it looks as though Bowker is just shit out of luck this time around. But hey, at least flight attendants have their own secret, shit-free room.

The average dude produces about 360 pounds of poop every year: 10 Serious Facts About Pooping