Magnet Therapy Goes Horribly Wrong After Man’s Dick Gets Stuck Between Them

Whatever happened to just using magnets to hold up your kid’s shitty art projects on your grandma’s Kenmore refrigerator?

According to the Daily Mail, some poor bastard in China got talked into performing magnotherapy on himself last week in an effort to treat issues with his prostate, and son of a bee sting, it appears as though he wound up getting his boom stick and beanbag caught between the two magnets. In immense pain, the 45-year-old man decided to call firefighters to help remove the magnets from his pecker. They transported him to a local hospital, called in a few doctors and then got to work:

Magnet Therapy Gone Wrong

Despite their best efforts, the firefighters were unable to remove the magnets, so they decided to call the manufacturer, who instructed them to just pull them “in a parallel manner off his penis.”

Um, hell no.

Those were the man’s family’s thoughts as well, as they instructed the rescue team to find some other way to free up their loved one’s cock and balls. Their solution? You guessed it: Crush the magnets with hydraulic shears.

The good news is that the firefighters eventually removed both magnets from the dude’s schlong. The bad news is that it took them almost four hours to do so. Here’s hoping he finds a more conventional way to treat his prostate from here on out.

They would need industrial-sized magnets in Bolivia: Which Country Has The Biggest Dicks In The World?