In WandaVision, Wanda Maximoff aka Scarlet Witch inadvertently turns the town of Westfield into a sitcom reality aka the Hex; its inhabitants fall under her control and become trapped. Watching WandaVision these past couple of months (socially-distanced and/or quarantined), one can’t help but think: have I been stuck inside a Hex this last year? Playing a character other than myself in an alternate reality that has been broadcast like a sick joke?
As far as we know, our synthezoid love interests (sex dolls) are fully-functional. Still, 2020, and now, 2021 haven’t exactly been business as usual. With WandaVision as our template, here are 27 clues it’s all just been a bad dream.
Cover Photo: Marvel Studios
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The RL Hex
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A safe space was created.
Whether it be to combat grief, trauma, or the coronavirus pandemic, people inside have been isolated/cut off from the rest of the world.
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Which you can’t leave.
It’s almost like we haven’t been able to exist outside the confines of our own homes.
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All of a sudden, nothing resembled what used to be the norm.
A 1950s black and white sitcom starring Wanda and Vision? Dinner with the boss and other classic sitcom situations? That's not what Marvel Studios does...hopefully, if we stick with it, things will return to an action-orientated normal.
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The concept of time/reality became precarious.
We missed important events, couldn’t remember what day it was, or even how we got here. Sometimes it’d be night and sometimes it’d be day; Daylight Savings feeling like a trick and/or misdirection orchestrated by our traumatized significant other.
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‘Please stand by.’
Frustration and uncertainty's mantra. What will happen next?
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Beekeepers were seen and then were never heard from again.
Murder hornets were supposed to put us out of our misery. They didn’t.
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COVID tests.
Sitting in your car while a swab gets rammed up your nose and into your brain. Over and over again.
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Our neighbors became both very noisy and very mysterious.
Also, that hoarding toilet paper thing. What could be more nefarious?
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You’ve learned useless skills (like Jimmy Woo’s card tricks).
But we’re proud of you nonetheless.
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The outside world has come to us via our computer screens (now more so than ever).
Emails, Zoom calls, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook—everyone hopping online to talk about everything and nothing.
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We binged a lot of bad TV.
From Love is Blind and Too Hot to Handle to reruns of old sitcoms, entertainment has certainly been lacking.
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Sex was canceled.
Meeting someone in a bar and having disappointing sex became a thing of the past. For those of us with partners, well, it didn’t work out. Locking down with your girlfriend was a terrible idea. It's not clear if you can or will ever have sex (again). Turns out, you don’t even exist.
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Denial.
Enter your litany of issues here.
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Corrupt government officials manipulated public opinion (or at least attempted to).
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The Hex altered cells on a molecular level.
Either you’ve gained weight during quarantine or look like Stallone in the '80s, there is no in-between.
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Strange things seemed to go unnoticed.
Kayne West ran for president and was endorsed by Elon Musk and Chance the Rapper before gifting his (ex) wife a hologram of her dead dad. Also, the Pentagon released UFO videos and no one cared. You’d think someone would but no, Doctor Strange was nowhere to be found.
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Conspiracy Theories
As Marvel Studios’ first live-action television show, WandaVision kept fans wanting more each week. Give people some downtime and they’re going to theorize; Reed Richards, Mephisto, X-Men’s Quicksilver, election fraud, everything COVID-19. You name it.
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Bad songs topped the charts.
WandaVision’s “Agatha All Along” or Cardi B’s “WAP,” take your pick.
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TikTok Dancing.
Or just TikTok in general. If Gen Z trying to cancel Eminem wasn’t bad enough, we’ve spent too many hours trying to learn just one dance. This god-forsaken app was supposed to have been banned dozens of times...
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New characters just appeared as if from nowhere and had no idea what was going on.
Remember when Jared Leto found out about the pandemic weeks after everyone else? “Wow. 12 days ago I began a silent meditation in the desert,” tweeted Leto. “We were totally isolated. No phone, no communication etc. We had no idea what was happening outside the facility.”
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We spent a lot of time wondering what she did with her husband’s body (if anything at all).
And by “she” we mean either Wanda or Tiger King’s Carole Baskins.
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Good guys became bad guys.
Cancel culture. To be fair, Wanda probably deserves canceling for holding an entire town hostage.
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It was the end of going-out clothes.
Loungewear or nowear.
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Our new, fantastic outfits were barely worn.
Damn Wanda.
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There was a climatic battle/election between two not so admirable characters/candidates.
But you still knew who to root for.
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We have to say goodbye to our imaginary friends at the end of isolation/quarantine.
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We still don’t know what’s going to happen next.
Hopefully a certain someone doesn’t become corrupted by the Darkhold and open the door to the Multiverse.
