The ‘Joker’ Clown School to Becoming a Successful American Icon
The Joker is easily the most famous and entertaining villain in the entire DC universe, but he didn’t just get there overnight. As evidenced in the new Joker trailer (the very first R-rated comic-book flick), it took a lifetime of downward spirals, being shunned by society, and a failed career at making people laugh. So how did Joker transform from a complete unknown to Gotham superstardom? And what does he plan to do now that he’s at the top?
Insanely pragmatic, Joker is capitalizing on his newfound popularity with a diverse portfolio of business ventures, including casinos, golf courses, a chain of fried chicken shops, and a mail-order steak brand. But no business lies closer to his heart than his online university that charges $10,000 to teach would-be villains how to succeed in an increasingly competitive marketplace. With a school slogan of “Donec Moriantur Ad Risum,” and a guaranteed five-minute phone call with the founder, the course looks pretty legit. We paid the non-refundable deposit of $99 to get our hands on the official course guide and here’s what we learned.
Photo: Gotham (Getty Images)
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Week One: Perfect your sinister laugh.
"Laughter is the music of the soul. Joker University© can help you cultivate a signature laugh that will ring out like a black hole."
Week Two: Learn to express your inner rage by practicing behind a dumpster.
"Rage is important. Before you can really step out into the world, practice in dark alleys where no one will see you struggle with your anger."
Week Three: Adopt a cult leader's stare.
"Learn how to never blink. Emit that certain twinkle that attracts lost souls. Master juggling sociopathic tendencies, violent impulses, and a huge ego."
Week Four: Create a cartoonish self-image.
"Image is everything. You want the public to be able to categorize you in two words or less. Ghandi, the Beatles, Hitler, they all have it and so can you. Find your image. (Note: green hair and orange hair are taken.)"
Week Five: Make the news.
"Create your messaging. Learn to use wedge issues to gain attention. Write a manifesto. Attend a pro-choice rally, pick a fight with a toddler."
Week Six: Tweet non-sensical, subtly insane inner thoughts at least three times a day.
"Clown, icon, president. If you want to make it in this world, you've got to grow your socials. If you have no following, you have no army. Identify an enemy and target them to stir up a common hatred and watch your popularity explode."
Week Seven: Get on TV.
"They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but it also adds credibility. If you're on TV, you can say whatever you want and everybody will listen. If you're not on TV, you're a nobody."
Week Eight: Graduation.
"Congratulations. You are now on your way to becoming a huge success. Remember, there's no such thing as an unrealistic goal--just unrealistic time frames. Seven weeks should do it."