Weird News: Australian Man Keeps Trying To Make A Penis His Official Signature

You know things are going well in the world when this makes the news.

According to BroBible, a 33-year-old heavy vehicle driver in Victoria has been fighting with officials for five years in an effort to get a drawing of a penis to be his official signature.

Jared Hyams said it all started when he signed an election form with a dick and thought it was just something funny to do. The Australian Electoral Commission didn’t find it very amusing and told him he couldn’t do it anymore. He decided to appeal their decision, but it was thrown out for being a “waste of taxpayer’s money.”

“It sparked something in me,” Dyams said. “I didn’t understand if these people were offended or had taken it personally.”

Undeterred, Dyams tried passing a penis as his signature on another government document. But the Department of Trade and Foreign Affairs refused to process his application for a passport and threatened him with jail time because “images of a sexual nature on official paperwork could constitute sexual harassment of government staff.”

Finally, Dyams had the breakthrough he was looking for when he was able to slip a dick signature past the crew at the DMV, and it’s been smooth sailing ever since. He now has used a penis drawing for a signature on “his federal government-issued health care card, to open a bank account, become a member of a library and apply for various student identity cards.”

Congratulations?

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