Funeral Strippers Are A Thing In China (We’re Dead Serious)

Sport. Pole dancer. Photo: mel-nik (Getty).

Death comes to us all. Like taxes, you can’t avoid it, and we’re all doomed to become worm food eventually. It’s a real downer for everyone.

When people are grieving a loved one’s passing, you want to cheer them up in the most appropriate and meaningful way possible. What better method than giving them lap dances? That’s what people in China have been doing.

funeral strippers

American Dollars in a Lace Garter. Photo: wragg (Getty).

I must have been living under a rock for my entire adult life, because I just learned that strippers at funerals are a real phenomenon (and have been for years). People in China have been doing this since way back in the day, and apparently the government is now trying to crack down.

The practice is meant to drive crowds to funerals and show off the families wealth. I mean, the more you spend on strippers, the more you prove you’ve got it made, right?

As much as this might be the go-to funeral set up, the Chinese government isn’t having it. The country’s Ministry of Culture is cracking down on the practice, deeming it illegal and a corruption of “social morals.”

From the Mirror U.K.:

China’s Ministry of Culture said last month that it was targeting “striptease” and other “obscene, pornographic, and vulgar performances” at funerals, weddings and other traditional public gatherings.

The government started trying to shake down funeral strippers way back in 2006. Here we are 12 years later and they’re still trying to shut down the dead burlesque shows. There must be some strong opposition to their efforts.

When I die, I want people to have a big party. Maybe strippers are a bit much, but I wouldn’t be opposed to balloons, face-painting, a Nerf gun fight and an open bar. Have a beer for me, then maybe hit up the strip club after.

Maybe strippers really are a status symbol: Millionaire Dad Hires Strippers For Son’s 12th Birthday Party