Spice Girls Have a New Song

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Crossing their fingers while they wait to hear the results of the Worst Song Title in History contest, the Spice Girls released their comeback single, “Headlines (Friendship Never Ends),” today. Don’t bother. It’s exactly what you’d think five chicks trying to cash in sounds like. Instead of music, they should have sang over a cash register or a slot machine. I tried listening to it, but then I realized what I was doing and shot myself in the knee.