Interesting Choice By The Salvation Army To Give Penis-Shaped Rubber Bands To Kids This Year

Photo:  Gurpal Singh Datta (Getty)

It looks as though some parents might be having “the talk” with their kids a little sooner than expected this holiday season.

Hey kids, if the swear words coloring book isn’t for you, perhaps you’ll dig this: According to Mirror, jolly old Saint Nicholas must have been feeling a little extra jolly and saucy at “Santa’s Grotto” in the English town of Pill over the weekend, as the Salvation Army was forced to apologize to parents and kids after he left some “adult-themed rubber bands” in their goodie bags.

Those rubber bands? You guessed it: They look like big, colorful dicks:

Interesting Choice By The Salvation Army To Give Penis-Shaped Rubber Bands To Kids This Year

“It has come to our attention that some children received inappropriate toys from Father Christmas at tonight’s ‘Santa’s Grotto,'” Salvation Army Officer Nicholas Ward said. “We are very sorry for this and will take this issue up with the Christmas Lights committee, who provide the toys for Father Christmas to distribute.”

“That said, we would like to thank Santa for his time and for all the families who shared in our Winter Wonderland. We hope you had a good night and please accept our apologies for any offense these toys might have caused you and your children.”

For the most part, parents seem to be laughing at the mixup instead of calling lawyers, which is nice to see. And perhaps nobody said it better than Becky Powell when she said, “Don’t worry. If the kids are old enough to recognize what they are, they are too old to be visiting Santa anyway. No harm done :-).”

It’s unknown how the pork sword rubber bands made their way into the children’s goodie bags, but something tells us the gang attending the Christmas party at The Blue Oyster is going to be rather disappointed when they look in their goodie bags and realize they’re going to have to use something else to tie their hair up with this year.

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