Deep Dive: How to Know If Your Girlfriend Has Daddy Issues This Father’s Day
The term “daddy issues” has become one of mockery in pop culture. But daddy issues are a real thing that stem from troubled childhoods and they’re near impossible to get over unless one is really invested in change and willing to get therapy. You might not know right away if you’re dating someone with daddy issues because at first, the woman in question will seem so eager for your attention and agreeable when it comes to your desires. But over time, you’ll start to see the darker side of daddy issues emerge. This is especially true around triggering times, like Father’s Day. In this deep dive, we’re helping you identify if the woman you’re dating has disturbing fatherly baggage.
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She doesn’t acknowledge Father’s Day.
Relationships with dads can be complicated, but most of us manage to at least send our father a greeting card or call him up on the holiday. If your girlfriend refuses to even acknowledge the significance of the second Sunday in June, or, worse, is completely estranged from her dad, beware.
She’s a total daddy’s girl.
Some women with daddy issues deal with their father’s rejection by pulling out all the stops to prove they’re worthy of his love. If she worships the ground he walks on, kisses him at every opportunity, and goes all out on Father’s Day with a handmade card, an expensive gift, and a fancy meal out, it could mean she’s trying to woo her way into his heart, even though year after year this technique has proven ineffective.
She has a history of dating bad dudes.
Women with daddy issues tend to date emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, and/or abusive men. Why? Because the toxic dynamic they have with them feels familiar to the relationship (or lack thereof) that they had with their dads. By recreating that dynamic with a new man, they’re trying to rewrite history. Spoiler alert: it never works.
She prefers older and/or inappropriate men.
It’s cliché, but true. If your girlfriend’s exes are substantially older than she is (we’re talking twice her age) or inappropriate (her therapist, her pastor, her professor), you’ve got a big red flag on your hands. She’s looking for a daddy substitute who will love and adore her in the way her father never did.
She never says 'no.'
Women with daddy issues aim to please, especially in the bedroom. No request will be refused. She’ll be as freaky as you want her to be. At first, you’re going to love this trait. But after a while, you’ll realize she’s just going along with your every whim not because she actually wants to but because she’s afraid you won’t want her around anymore if she says no.
She’s terrified of abandonment.
Being abandoned by your dad is as traumatic as it gets, so it’s no wonder your girlfriend freaks whenever too much time passes between texts or dates. For a woman with daddy issues, out of sight means she's out of your mind. If she’s not in constant contact with you, she’s worried something’s wrong and she can’t calm down until she’s back in your loving arms again.
Women with daddy issues are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, which means she suspects you're going to cheat on her. She’s hyper-vigilant about who you spend time with, text, and talk about. If you have female friends, expect friction. If those friends are exes, watch out. You’ll be bombarded with accusations of unfaithfulness for the duration of the relationship.
She’s independent...to a fault.
When a woman feels abandoned by her father, sometimes she compensates by becoming ultra independent, to the point where she won’t accept help from anyone. She feels like she has to do everything for herself and that she can’t rely on others to follow through. This inevitably leads to bitterness and burnout, but initially you’ll probably be impressed by how take-charge she is and how capable she seems to be at juggling her professional and personal lives.
She needs a lot of reassurance.
Having a bad or absent dad often results in low self-esteem. A woman with daddy issues needs a lot of “atta girl”s. If you don’t offer up enough on your own, she’ll force you to reassure her with trick questions like, “Does this outfit make me look fat?”
She’s rigid about gender roles.
A woman with daddy issues wants a manly man. She feels the need to be rescued, protected, and taken care of. You’re her knight in shining armor, her superhero, her savior. There is no room for weakness or beta sensitivity on your part. Her role is that of damsel-in-distress, complete with full-blown feminine qualities.