Honest Timeline: Ironing Your Shirt Before a Job Interview
Thanks to today’s crippling side-gig economy, being financially secure can be the most epic of journeys. This is why you’ve got to really put in the extra effort to impress potential employers these days. There are a myriad of ways to nail a job interview; however, the most important is to dress for the job you want. Unfortunately, this means throwing your interview outfit in the dryer with a wet towel just won’t cut it anymore. You’ve got to actually grow up and iron that mess, which is why we’re here to take you on the journey of a lifetime. Get your head in the game with this honest timeline for ironing your shirt before an interview.
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2 Hours Before You Need to Leave
It takes you a minute to dig through the pile of clothes on the floor of your closet. When you finally find the shirt you're looking for, it's so wrinkled it might as well be a wrinkle. You sign deeply and think, "Eff job interviews!"
1.5 Hours Before You Need to Leave
After smoking a joint, you briefly consider ironing it while it's on your body. Fortunately, you start looking for the iron and ironing board instead.
1.25 Hours Before You Need to Leave
You rip the damn wrinkled shirt off your body and throw it on the floor while also damning capitalism and the inhumane standards associated with job hunting.
1 Hour Before You Need to Leave
After a series of texts with your roommate, you finally locate the iron.
30 Minutes Before You Need to Leave
You put the shirt on the ironing board and go at it with the iron. Somehow it's not getting all the wrinkles out. "But I have a job interview!" you tell the iron. The iron does not care and neither do you at this point.
15 Minutes Before You Need to Leave
You don't have any time to spare. Even though you've been ironing the shirt for what seems forever, the damn wrinkles refuse to come out.
10 Minutes Before You Need to Leave
It's crunch time and you need to go. Obviously, you have only one option. You put the stupid wrinkled shirt on and add a tie. This way they'll know you're well aware of the American tradition of polishing a turd. Someday, if they're lucky, you can polish something just for them.
2 Minutes Before You Need to Leave
You stop and look in the mirror. It's not perfect, but it's not terrible. Plus, if you focus hard enough, the wrinkles seem to disappear. At least, this is what you tell yourself to psych yourself up and nail this job interview.
Honest Timeline: Drinking Too Much Cold Brew Coffee
When was the last time you struggled to look put together for a job interview? Let us know your nightmarish experience in the comments!