Danksgiving: The Green Wednesday Guide to Bringing Cannabis to the Turkey Day Dinner Table
Here at Mandatory, we believe that cannabis can make everything better…even dealing with your dysfunctional family over the holidays. Well, if getting high can get you through a meal like Thanksgiving, imagine what it could do for everyone else at the table. However, we never recommend dosing anyone with anything they haven’t consented to. That said, if you have the kind of family where you can turn turkey day into Danksgiving, we salute you. Keep reading for our recommendations for everyone at the table.
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Your Creepy Great Uncle Who Tells War Stories
For an old-timer who's still a good time, we recommend Garden Society's High CBD Rosette's. These mini pre-rolls are 15:1 CBD to THC, so they'll never get too high to enjoy themselves, but decades of pain and worry can melt away.
The Neighbor's Dog That Never Stops Barking
You simply want to enjoy smoking a joint out back, but your neighbor's dog won't shut up. Instead of forcing you both to suffer, sneak it a Maple Bacon Canna-Pet Canna-Biscuits for Dogs. Everyone deserves to chill out, even your neighbor's four-legged friend.
You Mother, the Goddess Who Made You
Your mother brought you into this world and based on how much money you've asked to borrow, she might take you out of it. Or worse, she might bring it up at dinner. But not if you swoop in with Greater Goods Marshmallow Bon-Bons. They're one of the best CBD edibles on the market and will have her in a state of Zen before dinner hits the table.
Your Weird Cousin Who Used to Wet the Bed
Your cousin's not terrible, just misunderstood and looking for attention. Still. Best to tone down any criminal impulses he might still have by offering him some of Kiva's Toffee Crunch Dark Chocolate Bar.
Your Father, a Man Who Just Wants to Enjoy The Holiday, Damn It
Bring the man behind the bird something extra special. Don't get too fancy on him, he's a purist. We recommend Deli by Caliva's Stardawg Pre-roll. It'll chill him out without slowing him down.
Your Sister Who Just Got Dumped By Her Fiancé
Both of you just want her to get through dinner without getting upset. This team effort will go down seamlessly as long as you bring her Besito's Grapefruit 2:1 THC to CBD Vape. It'll tone down her anxiety and help remind her there's life after a breakup.
Your Uncle Who Always Has Better Pot Than You
Introduce this Maverick to the world of sublingual strips. He likes to be high all the time and probably has been since the '70s. But with Kin Slips Sublingual Strips you'll finally show him the merits of microdosing. Then he'll pack a bowl and make you smoke with him anyways.
Your Dad's BFF Who Always Complains About Pain
For those aches that seem to get worse over time, we recommend Dixie's Synergy Relief CBD & THC Infused Balm. Palm this to your dad's friend once he arrives and he'll need less of the spiked eggnog to make it through the evening.
Honest Timeline: The First Thanksgiving With Your Girlfriend’s Family
How would Danksgiving go over with your family? Are they riding the cannabis prohibition wave? Let us know in the comments!