Marijuana Match-Up: Pairing the Perfect Weed Strain to Your Personality
Finding your perfect match when it comes to cannabis is no different than finding your soul mate. You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs and sort out your long list of do’s and don’ts before you can find the one. But seriously, who has time for that? That’s why we at Mandatory put together this cannabis cheat sheet so you can cut to the chase and commit to the one you like without inhaling a lot of schwag. Because life is hard enough without having to spend years trying to match your personality with the perfect strain. Discover your ideal high right now below. And if you suddenly hear wedding bells ringing faintly in your ears, remember, that’s probably just the weed kicking in.
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For those of you who often see red, we've got the perfect green to balance you out. Actually, it's purple. Purple Kush is a straight indica strain, with an average THC content of 27 percent. Sprinkle your bong rip with some hash oil or weed wax and watch your rage float away on a cloud of kush and unicorns.
Are you so chill you make snails look ornery? Try blasting some pep into your step with a quality sativa like Green Crack. Like the name indicates, this bud will get you going like a chainsaw at a lumberjack convention. Just don't be surprised if you spend the next three hours rearranging all your bedroom furniture.
There's nothing like a little green goblin to get the muse flowing. If you're one of those daydreaming, creative types, fuel your inventive furnace with a strain that will open up your box and energize you enough to jump out of it. Reach for sativa-heavy Jack Herer, with its mentally invigorating pine scent, and even-yet-deep-keeled high, and pretty soon your brain will be connecting dots your sober self has no business connecting.
For hardcore operators, there's only one thing to do. Clear you calendar for the next five days and eat an entire bag of pure indica gummy bears as you smoke an entire blunt of OG Kush to the dome. Not only will you lose all sense of time and space from the comfort of your single bed, you'll be in awe of the ungodly powers of a THC overdose. Luckily, a THC overdose looks nothing like any other kind of overdose. Just be prepared to wake up 98 hours later with Fruit Loops glued to your face and the background hum of Sting's greatest hits emanating like mush from the other room.
If you need to look up the definition of the word chill, you might want step into some Blueberry. One of the best-tasting buds on the planet, this relaxing indica will soothe your mind and body, without clouding your thoughts or giving you couch-lock. It's the wingman you need to enjoy that 12-day Napa vacation with the in-laws while managing an important deadline.
Similar to high-strung, but without the control-freak overtones, a hyperactive mind just needs a little focus. Try packing a bowl of heavy-hitting sativa like Ghost Train Haze. The high THC content will calm you down, while the uplift will focus your mind like a newborn baby. Hybrids like Goo may also do the trick, as there is scientific evidence that strains like these can balance the side effects of ADD medication.
Feeling bummed about how Game of Thrones ended kind of badly? Or maybe your dog won't learn to shake hands. Whatever's got you down, take a trip on the euphoria train with indica hybrid Jillybean. The aroma of a fresh orange grove bathed in golden light combined with the easy-going, upbeat buzz, will transport you to your happy place in two puffs or less. Just bring some lozenges because the cotton mouth is a bitch.
A Strawberry Cough vape pen is the perfect secret weapon for the man just trying to maintain. The high is subtle and socially friendly, and the flavor profile is light and tasty. It will give you that extra lift whenever you feel your self losing air.
Being too high can make some people paranoid. Also, sensing even minor alterations to your mental status quo can bring on waves of panic. For paranoiacs interested in the cannabis experience, place your bets on CBD and CBN-centric strains like Harle-Tsu and Tora Bora. The extremely low THC content will ensure a smooth take-off as you fly into low orbit. The gentle euphoria of the CBN will catch you off guard as you begin to wonder why your body is feeling so nice all of a sudden, and the thought of doing taxes doesn't bother you the least bit.
Look. Weed can be super fun. And the art and science of cultivating it is getting better everyday. Be a weed slut and sleep around until you find what works for you. There's something for everyone. And boy is it sure fun figuring that out.