Come Together For Global Orgasm Day, So to Speak
Even if your only experience with cumming has been with yourself, you’re aware of the potency of orgasms. This act, done alone, seems to reboot the system and give us the power we need to continue plodding through our lives. Adding another person to the equation obviously makes things better. So, hear us out, if one is good and two is great, what if everyone, all around the world, came together, to uh, come together? Would something magical happen? We certainly hope so because getting off is great.
Photo: B2M Productions (Getty Images)
The Current State of Affairs
People are angry, aggressive and pretty pissed about what they don't have, which is obviously enough orgasms.
The Great American Pastime
The only thing that seems to temper the beast is sex. This has been true throughout all of history.
The Tiny Death
The orgasm, or as the French call it, "la petite mort," is one of the few things people can do for free as often as they want, just so long as it's done in private.
When adults pleasure themselves, it seems to tone down everything else pissing them the eff off.
All Together Now
If we calculated the perfect time to stop what we're all doing and come simultaneously, what wonderful chain reaction might result?
A New Butterfly Effect
Could the key to solving all the world's problems be as simple as a well-timed simultaneous orgasm? If so, why aren't we doing exactly that right now?
The Big Boom
At the very least, we'd communally smoke a cigarette and stop hating one another long enough to realize that we should do this on the regular. Which is how innovation always occurs, in a boom. But on Global Orgasm Day, that'd be a sex boom, baby.
So, are you here to help us heal the world by participating in World Orgasm Day? Let us know in the comments!