Facebook Adds New Dating Feature, As If We Weren’t Already Using It That Way

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Facebook is an interesting creature. It’s a big part of millions of people’s lives, while simultaneously being completely loathed by those very same people. Every year the massive tech company tries to spread it’s awkwardly misshapen wings, only to have the world clap back in anger, shouting “stay in your lane, Facebook!” Well, now Facebook is returning to its roots as a ‘hot-or-not’ relationship interface, as it launches a new feature for it’s dating app, called Secret Crush, in which users can select up to nine “friends” to express interest in. If one of your gaggle of crushes also selects you as a secret crush, identities are revealed, and unabashed boning can ensue. Theoretically.

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While Facebook is admittedly very useful for engaging in vitriolic political rants with strangers, digitally stalking people you just met, and reconnecting with that girl you dated briefly back in the eighth grade, it isn’t very handy at much else. And based on its history, we’re betting something will soon go horribly wrong with Secret Crush, adding yet another corpse to the graveyard of Facebook fails below. Oh, 21st century, how we love thee.

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