Mens Turtleneck: Is It Ever Appropriate?

Photo:  Jamie Garbutt (Getty Images)

Clothing items are made unequal, some are approved by the whole society as wearable and acceptable, but others are always causing hidden giggles, eye rolls, and snappy comments. The life of a mens turtleneck is full of controversy from the moment it hits the store, some even feel bad for the mannequins that had no choice in wearing them. Others insist on wearing them all the time, bouncing off the mean comments on their high collars. But we want to make a final conclusion whether men should ever wear turtlenecks.

Mens Turtleneck Yay or Nay?

Nay, we say. It’s truly baffling how this unattractive piece of garment actually became a long-standing clothing item in wardrobes around the world. It really should’ve have had a lifespan of similarly atrocious trends like the fanny pack, parachute pants and other things only people in the 1980s could think are cool.

Starting off from the wearer’s perspective, mens turtleneck sweaters can give a slight, but a burdensome feeling of being suffocated, being collared. Swallowing food can become a task, your neck itches from time to time and you have to scratch it like you’re wearing a cast. While it is a good way to warm yourself, that too becomes a burden more times than it helps as it is hard to easily cool off while wearing one, it’s not like you can roll the collar down.

Mens Turtleneck Social Context

Whether you care about the whole alpha and beta male division, it might be important to you that there are some conceptions connected to the wearing of turtlenecks. Generally speaking, turtlenecks are considered as the choice of pretentious intellectuals, writers, designers, poets and similar. But usually, those that are very mellow, not dominant or at least strong in any way, there is an assumption made between the wearer and his character the same as there is for those who wear tank tops to be typical “bros”.

Mens turtleneck is regarded as a feminine item, bolstered by the fact that there are no discussions whether women should wear turtlenecks or not. That’s a first impression that you can’t make up with a cool watch. But don’t despair, not even NBA star Russell Westbrook can pull some of his stunts.

Mens Turtleneck Dos and Don’ts

If you’re loyal to wearing turtlenecks there are some things that you could do to improve the experience or some that we particularly implore you not to do. Like wearing half-length turtlenecks that end somewhere around your Adam’s apple, these are really the worst and there are no excuses. Also, wearing one while having a public reading of your book or giving a talk as you don’t want to be that stereotype.

Somehow, wearing a turtleneck is tolerable if you’re older than 50, especially if you have a gray beard, it probably makes up for the whole feminine aspect of the garment. But not if you’re a writer, fight the stereotype! Also, wider sweatshirt, sweater turtlenecks are fine, those that don’t latch on to your skin. This has become pretty popular in street fashion recent years, so there are quite a few options and you won’t have problems finding something that works for you.

There you go, now you know our stance on mens turtlenecks, and we want to know where do you stand on this hot topic? Have you gone full The Lonely Island and wear turtlenecks with your chain over them? If you actually managed to pull Jessica Alba while wearing one, we would wear them all the time.

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