Orlando Bloom Gave Miranda Kerr The Heads Up Before His Dick Pic Came Out

Miranda Kerr

Remember when Orlando Bloom went on vacation with Katy Perry and was naked the whole time? Then he went paddleboarding with is dick hanging out (NSFW)? Yeah, so Miranda Kerr went on the The Kyle and Jackie O Show and talked about it. 

When asked what her response to the naked photos of Orlando was, Miranda explained, “Oh my God, he text me and was like ‘um, I’m really embarrassed, some photos are coming out, just thought I should let you know.’ And I was like, hmmm… right, what were you thinking? Seriously?!” 

I can’t understand why you’d have your dick swinging in the ocean. You don’t know what the fuck is down there. Luckily for Orland, whatever is down there probably wouldn’t be able to see it if he fell off the paddleboard. Also, my CMS keeps putting a red line under “paddleboard” like its spelled wrong when I know that’s so you spell it because I Googled it. Sorry. Little frustrating. Anyway, I’d be embarrassed if I was married to Miranda Kerr then thought I could get better than ended up with Katy Perry. Like what the fuck. You were an elf in a movie. Let’s get ahead of ourselves, buddy.