Jennifer Garner Finally Had The Thing

[SinglePic not found]

Jennifer Garner has been pregnant since 2005 and is obviously a fan of Michelle Duggar, so it makes sense that she gave birth to her third child with Ben Affleck yesterday. If my math is correct, they are working on the fourth as I type this. Radar Online reports:

Jennifer Garner gave birth to her third child and it’s a boy! The little boy joins older sisters Violet, 6, and Seraphina, 3, in the happy family along with proud papa Ben Affleck. previously reported that the couple was having a boy, but when Jennifer announced the pregnancy in August 2011 she kept the sex of the baby secret, telling Ellen Degeneres that it would be “weird” to have a boy but also “cool and different.”

I don’t know who I need to call, but didn’t Jennifer Garner get pregnant eight months after Jessica Simpson? And Jessica Simpson is still pregnant. That can’t be normal. I mean, it can’t right? Is there some kind of government hotline I can call? What does she have in there? Is it…what could…how has she been pregnant for so long?! People, wake up! Look around you! What’s going on?! OH GOD WHAT IS IT???!!!