Ashlee Simpson is Protected

Ashlee Simpson’s boyfriend, Pete Wentz, and her father, “Papa” Joe Simpson, got into a fight with a Vegas bodyguard after Ashlee was accidentally slammed into a wall. The altercation began when bouncers for Mirage’s Jet nightclub refused to let the trio’s entourage inside. New York Daily News reports:

What are you doing?” yelled Wentz, demanding that his crew be escorted to a waiting SUV. “This is my [bleeping] car! I paid for this [bleeping] car!” Tempers rose, and, before long, a security guard shoved Wentz, knocking Ashlee against a wall. We watched as Wentz rushed to her aid. The Fall Out Boy bassist rained punches on the much-taller door sentries. Papa Joe also dove into the chaos. “When somebody messes with my baby, then it’s over!” Joe told us later, drawing his finger across his throat…Outside, Wentz stomped around and spat on the wall of the club. “[Bleep] this place!” he screeched, vowing never to set foot inside again.”

Please keep in mind that Pete Wentz is this guy and Joe Simpson is a perv who frosts his tips. I can’t believe those bouncers and that bodyguard didn’t just run away. I bet they thought about it. Because I dare you to imagine anything more intimidating than a four foot tall guy wearing skinny jeans and eyeliner slapping in the air and a middle-aged youth minister with waxed eyebrows doing the throat slash thing with his finger. That’s why I don’t go to clubs anymore more, man. Douche is pretty hard to get off your knuckles.