Paris Hilton is Getting Ready For Jail

With her impending jail sentence set to start next Tuesday, Paris Hilton hired a hair and makeup team to ensure that all the attention is on her when she reports to jail. The New York Daily News reports:

The timing is to make sure she makes all the celebrity weeklies. Paris is a genius at marketing herself. She managed to turn having a sex tape to her benefit, and she’s going to do the same out of going to prison…If she can set up her entry into jail in a very grand way, the payoff will be greater.”

The source goes on to say that Paris intends to pull out all the stops as she turns her entrance into a catwalk:

Paris doesn’t do contrite very well. She will be glam, and Paris is the queen of the prop. Expect her hair pulled back in a ponytail, big sunglasses and maybe a Holy Bible under one arm…There might even be tears.”

You’re going to jail, not to the premiere Ocean’s 13. Nobody cares what you look like when you go to jail, we just care what you look like when you get out. Hopefully with fractures and lacerations. I swear, if the government hadn’t stolen my plasma matter displacement cannon, I’d drop an asteroid on your house. But guess what? I still have the plans. And they will never find me. Oh no, they’ll never find me.


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