Dude Who Lost Millions in Crypto Mourns Previous 1 Percent Status, In Lieu of Flowers, Send Tear Emojis

Poor crypto bro. That’s the customary condolence when a one-percenter’s crypto holdings plunge from $54 a share to $0.01 overnight, as it did for “Chancers” who lost his $2.2 million-dollar fortune when TerraUSD crashed.

In its heyday (aka last month), Terra was the third-largest crypto platform in the world. Dubbed a “stablecoin” because it pegged its value to the US dollar, its destruction shook the entire crypto coterie and instantly plummeted markets – though bitcoin and others have since rebounded.

In the wake of his personal finances going poof, Chancers visited the South Korean home of Terra’s founder, Do Kwon to demand some answers. Using Google as his guide, Chancers traveled to Seoul and bravely snuck into Kwon’s apartment complex one wistful evening for a showdown of epic proportions. Unfortunately, Kwon was not home at the time. After Kwon’s wife answered the door, Chancers ran off and is now being sought by authorities for two counts of chickening out.

How could billions of dollars in imaginary money just vanish overnight? Weird, right? Like the time a pretend pizza that a tiny goblin made in his toy kitchen disappeared as soon as we went to take a bite. Obviously, there’s either a global plight of invisible ghost pirates running amok or currencies with no tether to the physical world have become naturally unstable in an oversaturated market.

But we digress. The point of all this is that we feel bad about the revocation of Chancer’s membership card in the One-Percenters Club. As such, we will cry him a river. And yes, it will be in the form of a collectible NFT that we’d be willing to sell at a premium if he ever rejoins the club. He would’ve wanted it that way.

Cover Photo: ArtistGNDphotography (Getty Images)


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