lindsey graham
WASHINGTON, DC - MARCH 23: Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) questions U.S. Supreme Court nominee Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson during her Senate Judiciary Committee confirmation hearing in the Hart Senate Office Building on Capitol Hill, March 23, 2022 in Washington, DC. Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, President Joe Biden’s pick to replace retiring Justice Stephen Breyer on the U.S. Supreme Court, would become the first Black woman to serve on the Supreme Court if confirmed. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

5 Occupations Lindsey Graham Might Be Better Suited For

When you think of big, tough, macho senators, Lindsey Graham is the absolute last dude that comes to mind. His desperate attempts to cover up his complete and utter lack of manliness are as transparent as Amber Heard’s attention-seeking. Senator Graham is so deep in the closet that he’s having conversations with the ghost of Harvey Milk.

This dude is also completely without a spine. Case in point, in 2016 Graham famously told Wolf Blitzer, “The more you know about Donald Trump, the less likely you are to vote for him. The more you know about his business enterprises, the less successful he looks. The more you know about his political giving, the less Republican he looks. We should have done this months ago.”

It turns out that Trump had the best presidential pet in Graham. Graham pretty much cucked for Trump no matter what morally repugnant things he did. This has led many to believe that Graham was being blackmailed by Trump and Putin. After all, his opinions changed radically after his emails were hacked by Russia. Could there have been certain pics or exchanges between Lady Graham and certain gentlemen callers? Or perhaps Lindsey is hiding a Grindr account? Regardless, the dirt has to be pretty epic.

Well, in honor of this spineless politician, we’ve brainstormed five occupations that he’d be better suited for.

Cover Photo: Win McNamee (Getty Images)