In unavoidable news of the day, Jeff Bezos went to space and back. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. The billionaire Amazon founder took his first flight with Blue Origin and a group of ‘space misfits’ on Tuesday morning, launching from Van Horn, Texas, and returning to Earth 10 minutes later. (Clearly, a quickie.)
We were less than impressed with this disgusting display of wealth and masculine insecurity, but Bezos (who is rather phallus-looking himself, come to think of it) seemed awfully proud of his accomplishment. And while the richest man in the world was trending on Twitter most of the day, people weren’t applauding his out-of-this-world feat but rather making fun of his undeniably phallic rocket. In honor of this semi-historic day, we rounded up the funniest tweets about Bezos’ dick-like mode of transportation.
Cover Photo: Joe Raedle / Staff (Getty Images)
Is it just me or does Jeff Bezos’s ship look like a massive dildo…#Bezos #JeffBezos pic.twitter.com/KlfhsMNX4F
— Mr Free Speech – Centrefusenik (@Centrefuter) July 20, 2021
The entire internet watching Jeff Bezos fly into space. pic.twitter.com/3g7bxjNETM
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) July 20, 2021
I’m not the only person thinking of Austin Powers right now …..#JeffBezos #BlueOrigin pic.twitter.com/LKGkWCfvbO
— Jhanik (@SirKinahjb) July 20, 2021
Space bout to get fucked pic.twitter.com/z2NCBxQK8l
— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) July 20, 2021
jeff bezos’s spaceship is shaped like a pic.twitter.com/x9px9ei3oW
— bayonetta supremacist™️ (@zephyrmetalwing) July 20, 2021
Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos really played “just the tip” with outer space
— litquidity (@litcapital) July 20, 2021
At least Richard Branson’s rocket was his own design pic.twitter.com/SSP0Ag3ZS7
— panamanianK (@thepanamanianK) July 20, 2021
Apparently @JeffBezos is single. pic.twitter.com/qIA8RYS0Qd
— Russian Market (@Russian_market) July 20, 2021
“Jeff Bezos looked like a penis and his rocket ship looked like a penis and he looked like a penis inside of a penis.” – my mom
— Isabella Rotman (@IsabellaRotman) July 20, 2021
Only bezos could make a rocket this phallic be completely humorless pic.twitter.com/Srh0r49MXM
— Low quality grad student (@Powerzzs) July 20, 2021
Jeff Bezos really just went & sent an unsolicited dick pic to us all today. #Unsurprised pic.twitter.com/infJr6RYVW
— Tara Bennett (@TaraDBennett) July 20, 2021
“It was 30 seconds of nothing” – Mum’s reaction to Bezos space thing. I wonder if he gets that reaction often from women. #BlueOrigin
— F. Quick (@quick13) July 20, 2021
