10 Childhood Perks We Should Still Get As Adults
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Being a kid has its perks. From free food to sweet rides, not to mention zero responsibility, half-pints have it good. It makes us wonder why we ever wanted to grow up at all. Oh, yeah, freedom! As in, the freedom to work 40 hours a week and pay bills! (Which is why we need sex and alcohol to numb the pain.) While most things were better in childhood than they are in adulthood, these 10 stand out as the childhood perks we wish we could still get as adults.
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Going for a walk after lunch is not the same thing as recess. We want to run! Throw the kickball at our frenemy’s head! Jump off the swing at heart attack-inducing heights! Recess for adults needs to happen and it needs to happen now.
Playing with Happy Meal toys.
Food is not just fuel. It’s supposed to be an experience, and a rewarding one at that. McDonald's understood that, and created Happy Meals. This meant not only instant gratification of the edible kind, but a new toy every time we ate. Scavenging for that cheap little piece of plastic and playing with it was even more satisfying than the meal.
Throwing a tantrum.
Kids and adults agree: emotions suck. The difference is that kids can let ‘em rip anywhere, anytime. They’re free to express rage, boredom, or any other sentiment that’s frowned upon when adults cop to it. We. Will. Not. Suppress. Our. Feelings. Anymore!
Taking a nap, whenever, wherever.
Kids can sleep at will – in the car, in a shopping cart, on mom or dad’s shoulder. It’s so unfair. We adults can’t even sneak off to the supply closet for a quick cat nap without some co-worker walking in and waking us up. How long until nap time becomes a standard practice like lunch breaks?
Playing in the ball pit.
Technically, adults are allowed in the ball pit, but you’ll probably be branded a pedophile if you try. Where is the adults-only ball pit?! On second thought, maybe we don't want to go there...
Riding a tricycle.
Trikes are low to the ground, lightweight, and really fast. Yet they make you feel like you have total control. Well, mostly. Where are the adult-sized tricycles? We want one!
An endless milk supply.
There’s something soothing about drinking milk (especially from a single-serve carton, even if they were a pain in the ass to open at times). As kids, we didn’t truly appreciate how wonderful it was to have a bottomless supply of free moo juice. Now we do embarrassing and even degrading things to get free beverages (usually alcoholic ones). Can innocence lost be found again?
Getting free cookies at the grocery store.
The best way to quiet kiddos is with a cookie. That's why grocery stores offer a free kid’s cookie to anyone who asks. Well, we’re a kid at heart and we spend a lot of money in this store, damn it! Where is our free cookie?!
Being carried when we can't walk another step.
Life is exhausting. Sometimes our legs just give out. Kids get picked up with just one little whine or the bat of an eyelash. Why can’t a grown-ass adult be carried without it being some weird power play or precursor to a beat-down?
Getting tucked in at night.
Going to sleep gets harder as you get older and your head fills with worries about how the eff anyone gets through life alive. Imagine how much easier you’d fall asleep if you could get tucked in, now, as an adult, when you really need it. Don’t forget to leave the door open a crack, Mom, or the monsters might get us!