Expensive New Apple Stand Comes With Free Cup of Over-Sugared Lemonade

Every new Apple product comes with plenty of anticipation, but the new Apple stand comes with so much more, specifically, a free Dixie cup of heavily sugared, homemade lemonade, made and served by Tim Cook himself.

At a recent Apple event, Cook delegated the duty of delivering the bad news to someone else. After giving the tech geeks one of their “finest” Mac Pros to date, the presenter casually dropped the price for the new Pro Display XDR, whose Pro Stand is an easy $999. Then he fumbled through his words after the crowd responded with scorn, quickly wrapping up and scurrying off stage towards Cook.

“I don’t think they liked that, Mr. Cook,” he said. “Not one bit.”

Cook quickly returned to the stage to ease everyone’s mind, reminding them that even though Apple products may be affordable, it’s a well-documented fact that the accessories are what really bend you over. Assuming no announcement of a new charger adapter would excite the audience, Cook scrambled to find something more the Apple stand could offer to offset the cost.

His first thought: Grandma Cook’s Homemade Lemonade.

That’s 24 fresh-squeezed lemons and only 16 cups of sugar.

With each Mac Pro and XDR display bought, Cook himself promised to deliver a cup of that sour, completely undrinkable marmalade right to your door himself (although he’d prefer you just come to the Apple Store and wait for 5 hours).

The crowd stood in ovation for the brave man, right before preordering their completely unnecessary Apple stand right there in the room. Because when Apple hands you lemons, you just have to give them all your money.

Lord knows what they’ll charge for Apple TV+.

Cover Photo: Justin Sullivan (Getty Images)