Guns Might Not Be The Best Employee Christmas Gift After All

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Long gone are the good ol’ days when employers simply gave their employees a box of cashews or enrolled them in the “Jelly Of The Month Club” for Christmas (looking at you, Griswold). Unfortunately, it’s 2018, which means employers are giving their workers guns as a way to say “thank you.”

In case you missed the USA TODAY article, a Hortonville, Wisconsin, company called BenShot decided to give all their employees a handgun as a Christmas present.

Giving employees their choice of revolver as a gift is part of an effort to promote personal safety and team building, Ben Wolfgram, who co-owns Hortonville-based BenShot, said Tuesday.

The business has 16 full-time employees, including several veterans. But the business also has employees who had never fired a gun, he said.

Here we go again. Adding more guns to a gun-induced epidemic for “safety.” Makes sense. The Thousand Oaks shooting earlier this month was the 307th mass shooting in the U.S. this year.  Maybe something can be done to help prevent drunk driving as well? Maybe for Christmas 2019, they can give employees shots of whiskey during a self-driven booze cruise to promote safety on the roads.

Or, we all could do better.

Shall we make a few suggestions on proper Christmas gifts for employees this year?

More Holiday Cheer: A Big List Of Christmas Gifts For Your A-Hole Friends

Paid Time Off

Anyone in their right mind would take an extra holiday over a little extra cash.

A Reliable Babysitter

Hook your employees up with a reliable babysitter so your workers can actually enjoy their time off. Raid your nearest church youth group or Scouts club. Go wild.

An Amazon Gift Card

Because we all know Amazon is taking over the world. Want a new iPad? Metal detector? Box of batteries to power said metal detector? Whatever you want, it’s on Amazon. Just keep it simple, boss.

A Recruiter

Because if you have a boss dumb enough to give his entire staff a handgun for Christmas it’s more likely than not you’ll be out of a job soon. You’re going to need all the representation you can get in order to find new employment.

Ahem: Idiot Shoots Himself In Church While Advocating For Right To Bring Guns To Church

Whatever you do, don’t celebrate Jesus’ birthday by spreading the thrill of weaponization.