The Mandatory Art of Wrapping Christmas Gifts Yourself This Year
No matter what Christmas gifts you’re giving this year, they’re guaranteed to make a better impression if properly wrapped. There’s something about the tight, symmetrical folds of a perfectly wrapped present that elevates whatever it contains to a whole ‘nother level of class and sophistication. In the same way that “the clothes make the man,” the gift-wrapping makes the gift.
If you’re new to the art of gift-wrapping, don’t worry. With a few simple, easy pointers, you, too, can master this skill. Who knows? Maybe you’ll even find you enjoy it so much you go all out like those wealthy women who have entire rooms dedicated to bespoke gift wrap, precise paper cutters, frilly bows, and 10 kinds of Scotch tape. (Yeah, probably not.) We will promise you this: by the time you work your way through our gift-wrapping steps, you’ll be better at it than you were before. Without further ado, let’s get wrapping!
Cover Photo: PeopleImages (Getty Images)
Set Up Your Station
You don't want to have to get up mid-gift-wrapping to grab anything, so gather all your tools, paper, tags, and adornments as well as beverages, snacks, and emotional support animals before you begin. We recommend wrapping on the bed. Sure, you might spill coffee on the wrapping, leave powdered sugar fingerprints from your Muddy Buddies on the packages, or get pet hair stuck in the tape, but that just adds to the flair of your present's presentation.
Put on an appropriate playlist.
You can't wrap without the right soundtrack on. We recommend a Christmas rap album...because you're Christmas wrapping! Get it? (Why aren't you laughing?)
Practice makes perfect.
Before you wrap the gift in question, take a trial run. Wrap random objects around your home, office, or home office to ensure you don't mess up on your masterpiece.
Box it up.
Sure, it's wasteful, but you likely won't be around anymore when they start putting landfills in our back yards. By boxing your gift before you wrap it, you imbue the present with an air of mystery. It also just makes it easier to wrap. It's geometry, dummy.
The cheaper the present, the nicer the wrapping paper should be.
Your wrapping paper is your gift's first impression. But there's an inverse relationship between the quality of gift and the quality of wrapping. Nobody cares what a flat-screen TV is wrapped in, right? But you're not giving a flat-screen TV. You're giving a Chia Pet. Hence, splurge for the high-quality paper and all the bells and whistles.
Consider the noise factor.
The noisier your gift-wrapping materials, the better. Who doesn't love popping the bubble wrap, one tiny pop at a time?
Watch out for paper cuts.
Paper cuts are tiny, but they're incredibly painful. And messy. But they're an occupational hazard. If you end up leaving a trail of blood on your gift, oh well. Your recipient will know you sacrificed precious platelets so their gift would look pretty. How many other people can say that?
Add the final touches.
Bows, ribbons, pipe cleaners, twigs, berries, condoms, whatever! Add a tiny detail that your recipient will never forget.
Don't forget to put a name on the present.
There's nothing worse than arriving at your Christmas destination, unloading your bag of gifts...and realizing you forgot to tag each one. (Or that all your tags fell off.) To prevent such a gift-giving disaster, grab a magic marker and scrawl the recipient's name in big letters across the gift.
Give it your best, forget the rest.
Oh, fuck it. This was never going to turn out well. Just shove the gift in a paper grocery bag and top it off with some Kleenex in lieu of tissue paper. It's all going in the trash at the end of the day anyway.
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