5 Useless Things Millennials Killed

Photo: F.J. Jiménez (Getty Images)

It seems that no industry is sacred enough to withstand murderous millennials. One after another they face extinction due to the villainous 18- to 30-year-old demographic. It’s almost as if they’re on a rampage to destroy what older generations hold dear. But is every industry they eradicate really that great? We prose these five things were pretty useless already.

1. Doorbells

When you want to enter a stranger’s home, there are a few options to let them know. You can text them to open the door for you. You can knock with your hand. But using a doorbell? Well, some millennials would argue them to be scary electronics. Doorbell phobia is a real thing. And let’s be honest: their reasons do make some sense. Doorbells could be broken. If it’s a multi-resident unit, the doorbell could be for a neighbor’s door. Doorbells could wake someone up. And when you can simply send a text, do we really still need them?

2. Dinner Dates

While romantic in the movies, dinner dates are not always that pragmatic in real life. Why sit in an overpriced restaurant filled with strangers for a date? Millennials seem to recognize that, as an OkCupid IAC survey showed. Dinner dates can lead to public arguments and financial stress. Maybe staying in the comfort of your own home or virtually any other place that doesn’t have dozens of people eating around you isn’t such a bad idea. Since millennials are on track to be the fattest generation, forgoing dinner dates might double as a diet.

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3. Postcards

Back when rotary phones and long-distance charges were the norm and the Internet wasn’t yet a thing, a postcard might have been a quaint way to communicate while traveling. But today, they’re unnecessary. When most places have a solid Internet connection, simply sending a picture with a few words online saves time, the stamp, and the paper. Twenty-five years ago, over 20 million postcards sold. Last year that number plummeted to 5 – 6 million. Still, that’s a large number for something that should be a relic. And while some accuse millennials of killing the postcard, others report that they are reviving them for the sake of nostalgia. Whichever it is, postcards are a hassle.

4. Wine Corks

When one wants to consume a beverage, why should one require anything but the actual beverage? A corkscrew is one kitchen accessory that can be avoided. Plastic and aluminum are completely viable substitutes for the cork. Millennials drink a lot of wine and when they came of drinking age, corks began losing popularity. Whether or not that was their fault is debatable. While corks do have a unique cell structure, if you’re not a wine fanatic, do you really want to deal with that corkscrew?

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5. Breastaurants

Who wouldn’t want to sit in a mediocre restaurant, drink beer, watch sports games, and look at big-breasted women all at the same time? Apparently Millennials, who don’t seem to like breasts or major restaurant chains, were responsible for the decline of Hooters, which is currently re-branding. But let’s be honest: dinner and breasts weren’t a good combination to begin with.